From: Ingrid Naiman [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: 25 February 2003 21:28
To: Ingrid Naiman
Subject: GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
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----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, February 08, 2003 8:40 AM
Subject: the perks of being over sixty
The perks of being over 60
Your supply of
brain cells is finally down to manageable size
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they canít remember them either
Your joints are more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service
People call at 9pm and ask "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
There is nothing left to learn the hard way
Things you buy now wonít wear out
You can eat dinner at 4pm
You can live without sex but not without glasses
You enjoy hearing about other peopleís operations
You get into heated discussions about pension plans
You have a party and your neighbours donít even realise it
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room
You sing along with music in shopping centres
Your eyes wonít get much worse
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
Ageing is when: Everything hurts, and what doesnít hurt, doesnít work
The gleam in your eye is the sun hitting your bifocals
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there
Your knees buckle and your belt wonít
You get winded playing chess, and you look forward to a dull evening
You feel like the night after, but you havenít been anywhere
You work up a sweat putting on your socks
You canít remember where you read this list!
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