-----Original Message-----
From: Ingrid Naiman [mailto:sacredmedicine@earthlink.net]
Sent: 25 February 2003 21:28
To: Ingrid Naiman



1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.



Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.456 / Virus Database: 256 - Release Date: 2/18/03




----- Original Message -----

From: ALTEACOM@aol.com

To: disappear@onetel.net.uk

Sent: Saturday, February 08, 2003 8:40 AM

Subject: the perks of being over sixty


The perks of being over 60

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they canít remember them either

Your joints are more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service

People call at 9pm and ask "Did I wake you?"

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac

There is nothing left to learn the hard way

Things you buy now wonít wear out

You can eat dinner at 4pm

You can live without sex but not without glasses

You enjoy hearing about other peopleís operations

You get into heated discussions about pension plans

You have a party and your neighbours donít even realise it

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room

You sing along with music in shopping centres

Your eyes wonít get much worse

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off

Ageing is when: Everything hurts, and what doesnít hurt, doesnít work

The gleam in your eye is the sun hitting your bifocals

Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there

Your knees buckle and your belt wonít

You get winded playing chess, and you look forward to a dull evening

You feel like the night after, but you havenít been anywhere

You work up a sweat putting on your socks

You canít remember where you read this list


Return to HUMOR contents


Return to SERENDIPITY contents